Holiday Nog
by SaltyJak
Summary: And what happens when Vicki tries it for the first time. Oneshot.


Timmy Turner sighed contentedly as he relaxed into one of the cushioned outdoor chairs on his house's front porch, wrapping the comforter he was essentially wearing a bit tighter around his lean frame. The porch itself was a bit different than the one he grew up knowing. Where at one time it was simply a set of wooden steps with a landing, the structure had fallen victim to one of his parents' many attempts to add a bit of 'fun' to their relationship, that particular incident being borne from a certain remodeling craze they'd suddenly picked up on.

The porch was certainly cozier, though the size of it(being the same length as the front of their house) did make the front yard a bit smaller. A couple more chairs; much like the one Timmy currently sat in, also occupied the space, though they were devoid of occupants. This fact; however, suited the brunet just fine, as he'd ventured out into this rather cool night of December the twenty-fifth with the express purpose of getting away from people. Specifically the thirty or so party-goers that were just on the other side of the wall that his chair rested against.

Yes, Timmy Turner was outside; wearing little more than what were essentially his pajamas and a warm blanket, on Christmas night, the temperature just barely dipping below thirty-five degrees Fahrenheit. Meanwhile, his parents were throwing one of their now-annual Christmas parties that they invited just about everyone they knew to. Their own family, obviously, along with Chester and his dad, AJ and his family, the _Dinkleburgs_ , for some reason, and even Tootie, Vicki, and their parents.

The teen frowned as he heard the muffled tune of 'A Holly Jolly Christmas' through the wall behind him. "Ugh." He burrowed further down into his makeshift blanket fortress, leaving only his eyes exposed as he tried to use the comforter to drown out the music.

Now, it wasn't that Timmy hated Christmas, not at all. His parents(and fairy godparents) always got him what he asked for, (almost)all the people he knew were always in a good mood, he didn't have to worry about school or homework, and of course, Christmas time meant eggnog, the best drink ever. Admittedly, the carols and songs could begin to grate on his nerves just a little(considering they started getting played in _November_ ), but he didn't _hate_ the Christmas season, nor did he hate parties or big get-togethers.

It was just that, sometimes, he needed a break from all the holiday cheer, and with all his friends and acquaintances being at his house, there were few options available to the brunet when it came to _not_ being at his house. He couldn't even ask Cosmo and Wanda to wish him somewhere else, as they, like most people, were off visiting their own families.

A cool breeze blew across the yard, making the teen shiver, even with his warm blanket cocoon. Luckily for Timmy, he lived in Dimmsdale, a city located in southern California, where snowfall tended to be somewhere between 'light' and nonexistent. Even tonight, one could find little more than a dusting of white powder on the grass, maybe a half-frozen puddle if they really searched. Though there was the occasional(albeit rare) day where the city would get several inches of snow, enough that he might have to shovel, or be able to build a snowman. Those days were the best, in his opinion, because the snow muffled a lot of the sounds in the area, like the cars driving by, or the endless yet far-off noise of downtown Dimmsdale. _"Kinda wish I lived somewhere colder sometimes..."_ Timmy thought, glad for once that Cosmo and Wanda couldn't grant wishes he thought, only ones he actually spoke.

 _Click!_

The sudden noise of the front door to his left being unlocked and opened, accompanied by 'White Christmas' increasing in volume, made Timmy look over toward the disturbance, the porch light illuminating the form of his blond-haired friend, Chester, wearing a thicker coat than usual due to the weather, though the rest of his outfit; consisting of blue jeans and sneakers, remained unchanged. "Aha! Brainiac owes me five bucks!" Chester remarked proudly as he closed the door behind him, then moved over to sit in the chair next to Timmy's. "So how ya doin' bro? You hot or something?"

"Hot?" Timmy spoke in a voice that was slightly raspy from disuse, and promptly cleared it.

"Can't think of any other reason you'd want to come out here." The blond teen shrugged, quickly rubbing the palms of his hands together to generate a bit of warmth. "Man... I hate winter. If it weren't for you guys living here, I think dad and I would've moved somewhere warmer _years_ ago!"

"Warmer than Dimmsdale?" Timmy asked in a skeptical tone. It was no secret that tonight was somewhat colder than most winter nights were in California, but he and his friends still lived fairly far south. Most of the snow and cold would be gone by noon the next day, maybe even sooner.

"Yeah dude, somewhere... With long sandy beaches, clear blue water, and the chicks man! The chicks!" Chester playfully nudged his best friend with his elbow, earning him a small nod of disapproval, along with a roll of the brunet's eyes.

"And what about Tootie?" Timmy raised an eyebrow at his friend, tilting his head ever so slightly.

"She can come too! We'll all move to the Bahamas and live right on the beach! Sun, surf, and no more freezing days like this!" The blond shivered slightly, further driving his point about the cold, home.

"Right, I'm sure we could all convince our parents to move across the country, and then _out_ of it." Timmy remarked sarcastically as he stretched out his legs, briefly exposing his bare feet. "And I didn't mean about Tootie coming with us, I meant your _girlfriend_ might take exception to you checking out chicks with her only a few feet away."

"Nah, bro. You know me better than that." Chester grinned and reclined back into his chair. "That chicks comment was for you, dude. You need a girlfriend."

The brunet narrowed his eyes at his best friend. He knew what Chester was doing, he'd seen it plenty of times before, after all. The blond would offhandedly mention his lack of a girlfriend, just because he knew Timmy would take the bait and get set off by it... _"So why am I letting it get to me as usual?!"_ "I-"

"Think about it. Brainiac's dating Trixie, _I'm_ dating Toots, and you're-"

"Hey, that's a technicality, dating within our circle of friends isn't the same as finding a girlfriend normally. You had a head start with Tootie because she's our friend." Timmy crossed his arms and shut his eyes, only to quickly open his left and glance back over at Chester. "Not to mention, you had _help_."

The blond teen chuckled and shook his head, then leaned forward and clasped his hands together, again rubbing them back and forth to try to keep warm. "Ah... You're never gonna let me live that down, are ya?"

"Not as long as you keep trying to play matchmaker for me, nope." Timmy pulled his legs back under his blanket fully to sit cross-legged.

"...And you're-" Chester hesitantly began, but was cut off near instantly by a sigh from Timmy.

" _Ugh, here we go again..."_ Timmy thought to himself. "Chester. I know where this is going." The brunet pinched the bridge of his nose in mild annoyance. "I get it, you still feel... Weird about dating Tootie, since..."

"Y'know she really cared- _Cares_ about you, right? Sure, she had a bit of a strange way to show it, but I think she-"

"I _know_." Timmy interrupted again, this time in a more exasperated tone. "She wanted to _marry_ me when we were ten. I may not be as smart as AJ, but... I get it." He finished in an almost somber-sounding voice. Yes, Tootie could be obsessive at times, but she did genuinely care for him, more than he could say for just about every other girl he'd tried a relationship with. There were even times where he wished(only in his head, just in case) that he _could_ see Tootie the way she evidently saw him, but he simply didn't feel that way about her. The years of friendship had made the two teenagers closer than most siblings were, but it never went beyond that.

"Heh... Still remember the way you put that to me..." Chester let out a small laugh. "'Just ask her out, what've you got to lose?'" He spoke in the best impression of his brown-haired friend's voice he could muster, which still sounded a bit too whiny to said friend, though he chose to let it slide.

"Worked out, didn't it?" The brunet smirked at his friend, knowing he was right.

"Hey, I'm not saying it didn't." Chester waved his hand in the air in a dismissive motion. "Tootie's great. She's smart, funny, gets all flustered easily, and we both know she's cute! That's not even mentioning that as long as I'm dating her, Vicki's been- Uh... Well, not _nice_ , but she's pretty much left me alone and stopped with all the teasing crap. I thought for sure she'd skin me alive when she found out, but Red was-"

"'Red'? You better watch it with that, you _know_ the nickname thing isn't a two-way street with Vicki." Timmy cut in once again, this time giving the front door a quick glance, just in case he hadn't noticed the aforementioned red-head show up. She was at the party, after all, though he'd only caught a few glimpses of her before he headed outside.

"Whatever." Chester shrugged. "What was I saying... Oh, Vicki was actually just kind of... Surprised, I guess. Maybe she didn't expect Tootie to find a boyfriend that wasn't you or something... Actually, she didn't even give me 'the talk'."

"Vicki probably thinks we're old enough to have already heard the sex talk, Chester..." Another cool breeze blew ghosted over the somewhat exposed porch, making the brunet shiver this time.

The blond released a low giggle. "No, not _that_ talk. I mean the one _you_ gave _me_. _That_ talk."

"Oh... That one." Timmy felt a light warmth in his cheeks as he realized what his friend was talking about.

" _Yeah_ , the one where you said that if I did anything to hurt Tootie, you'd stop being friends with me and knock in my front teeth... That seems hardcore, even for you, Timmy." Chester couldn't help but wonder if his best friend had been coached on what to say by his girlfriend's older sister, or if all the brunet's time around the red-head had caused her to somehow rub off on him. Either way, Timmy's face that day made it clear that his threat was anything _but_ empty.

"Eheh..." The teen rubbed the back of his head, then readjusted his pink cap. "Yeah... Sorry if I seemed... Like a jerk that day, it's just- ...Tootie deserves someone who cares about her, y'know? And she's... Well, _we're_ really close, feels like we're related sometimes. I wanted to make sure that, since I was kind of encouraging you to date her, you knew what you were getting into..."

"Hey man, I get it. Just because you don't feel that way about her, it doesn't mean you want her to date some... Ass who isn't gonna treat her right..." The blond quickly took out his phone, looking to see that it was nearly eleven at night. "She... Hasn't said anything to you, right? Like... I haven't pissed her off, or done anything wrong?"

" _Where's this coming from?"_ Timmy wondered as he shot his friend a quizzical look. "You... You're serious? Chester, since you and Tootie started dating, she can barely stop talking about how great of a boyfriend you are when you aren't around. She'll come over my house just to play video games and gossip about you like you're this amazing, awesome guy that she loves spending time with. I think she sees you as..."

"As you?" Chester asked, a slight grin turning up the left side of his mouth.

"I mean, I dunno about _that_..." Timmy responded in a coy tone, looking at his fingernails as he did. "I am _pret-ty_ awesome, after all."

"Oh jeez, here we go..." Chester chuckled to himself and shook his head. "Yeah, you're _so_ awesome, you don't have a girlfriend. Sure wish I was so awesome that no girl was good enough for me, cuz lemme tell ya, fighting off all these girls is _tiring_!"

"Ha ha." Timmy deadpanned, shooting his friend an unamused look. "I never said no girl was good enough, I just want someone who likes some of the things that I do-"

"Thought you told me Trixie was really into comics and video games?"

"-And cares about _me_ , instead of just herself." The brunet clarified, a slightly bitter inflection in his voice. "Maybe that's why AJ and her are so good together, they don't have to ask each other for love, they both love themselves more than enough..."

"Ah c'mon, AJ's not- I mean, he can be a bit of a-" Chester attempted to defend his bald friend, but honestly? Timmy was right. Very rarely did he catch Trixie and AJ really _acting_ like a couple. Trixie was usually too busy texting her more affluent friends, or gushing over how popular she was, and AJ spent much of his time doing all sorts of schoolwork for the college he was attending.

"I rest my case. I'm not looking for some fairytale romance, Chester. I just want... I dunno, a normal relationship, I guess?" Timmy finished in an unsure tone. With the number of girls he'd known in his life, and the distinct lack of anything even resembling a relationship, it wasn't hard for the teen to imagine that he was cursed.

"Well... It's not like you haven't had opportunities... I get what you mean about Trixie; and Tootie, apart from dating me, is... _Tootie_ , but... Oh!" Chester snapped his fingers as an idea formed in his mind. "What about Veronica? She's- Er... Is she still single?"

"I'unno." Timmy shrugged his shoulders. In truth, he'd never really thought about Veronica like that. The blonde girl barely even talked to him, and the few interactions he'd had with the girl amounted to probably a handful of acknowledging glances. The girl seemed to let Trixie do most of the talking, leaving her as little more than a background element. "All I know about Veronica is that she follows Trixie just about everywhere and her last name is... Star? I think?"

"Hm... I'll have to ask either Brainiac or Trixie what her deal is one of these days... You gotta admit, she's not too hard on the eyes, right?" The blond grinned at Timmy, earning him yet another disapproving stare. "Oh not like that!" Chester rapidly shook his head back and forth. "I'm a one girl guy, Timmy. And Tootie's the girl for me, I was just saying that _maybe_ , if I could get Trixie to give me _her_ number, and then I'd give it to you, and you might _actually_ get laid before we have this same conversation next Christmas!"

"Gr... I'd kick your ass if it didn't mean getting out of this nice and warm blanket..." Timmy grumbled out, once again remembering why he came out here in the first place: to get away from the annoying Christmas songs inside, as well as all the _people_.

"Sure you would man, sure you would." Chester stood up from the chair, a low popping sound emanating from his knees. "Jeez, if this weather makes my bones stiff at this age, how am I gonna be when I'm thirty?"

"Dunno, probably senile and complaining about how far you had to walk to school 'back in your day'." The brunet teased, a small, evil grin appearing on his face.

"Eh, I could be, but you know what I _won't_ be complaining about? The fact that I'm not a thirty year old _virgin_." The now standing teen stuck his tongue out at Timmy.

"Don't forget, Chester. I got a _lot_ of pull with a certain girl who wears glasses. One word from me, and you won't be getting laid this _century_!"

"Pfft. Yeah right, Tootie doesn't-" Chester attempted to laugh off his friend's comment, only to soon realize said friend was giving him a _very_ flat and neutral stare. "Y-You wouldn't- Dude, don't even joke about shit like that, that's _evil_."

Timmy shot Chester a self-satisfied smirk. "Better stay on my good side then, huh Blondie?"

The blond-haired teen grimaced at his nearly forgotten nickname. "Ugh. Want me to go get Vicki? Sounds like you two would get along _super_ well..." Chester laughed in an almost humorless tone. "Or you could, y'know, come back inside instead of freezing your ass off out here..."

"Nah, I'm good." Timmy, happy that he'd won this friendly battle between himself and Chester, relaxed back into his seat, sinking down into his warm comforter.

"You sure...? There might be some fine chicks inside... I'll bet Veronica's here, since Trixie and AJ are~" Chester drawled out, almost in song.

Timmy took a moment to scratch at his chin. From what he _did_ remember of the blonde girl, she was pretty attractive... But then again, she was also rich. What on Earth would she see in him that she didn't see(and ignore) in just about every other male student at their school? "I... How about... If I make it my New Year's resolution? Starting in January, I'll make it my goal to get a girlfriend." Timmy crossed his arms and nodded, satisfied with his new goal. "Mainly to get you off my back." He narrowed his eyes at Chester, who rolled his.

"Right. Me wanting my best friend to have a relationship and be happy must be _such_ a burden." The blond teen stuck out his lower lip and spoke in a mockingly sympathetic tone. "And until then, what are you gonna do? I know New Year's is only a few days away, but you could take a little bit of action! Do you think Miss Right is just gonna fall into your lap? You gotta get out there and talk to girls, dude!"

"Eh." Another shrug, this one due to Timmy rapidly losing interest in the conversation. "Maybe I'll just wait. Could get lucky, have a girl like Tootie come over and talk to me."

"Dunno about that, Timmy. Toots is one of a kind."

"Insert groan here." Timmy giggled at Chester's sappy-sounding comment. "Careful, or I might start thinking you two are in _love_ ~!" Bringing his hand up, the teen rested the back of it against his forehead and swooned dramatically.

"You're an ass." The blond couldn't help but laugh as he turned around and made for the front door of the Turner household. "Merry Christmas, man."

"Merry Christmas." Timmy waved at his friend as he retreated into the house, keeping his eyes locked in the direction of his front yard and the street as he did. _"Maybe I should go inside... Or up to my room at least. Being out here is just gonna make people worry about me, and then I_ really _won't get any peace..."_

 _Click!_

"Ah for- Chester, I'll come inside in a few if it's-" Timmy began exasperatedly, but soon fell silent upon realizing that the person leaning out of the front doorway was _not_ his blond friend. Not unless said friend had shrunken a couple inches, dyed his hair red, changed his outfit, and become a girl, anyway.

"Hnh. Looks like I owe Twerpette a five..." Vicki stepped out of the house, using her weight to close the front door as she lazily pulled it along. Despite the cold temperature, the red-head only wore her usual green t-shirt and black jeans combo, along with a pair of black socks on her feet. The winter boots she'd been wearing when she arrived with her family were now conspicuously absent. And clutched in her left hand was a metallic water bottle, one Timmy had occasionally seen Vicki carrying when she went jogging.

One wouldn't need the years of knowing Vicki that Timmy had to see that there was something... Decidedly off about her body language. The missing boots and odd way she closed the door-only just now releasing the doorknob-did little but make this fact more obvious. To the brunet, she almost seemed... Unsteady?

"Hey!" The red-head exclaimed and stood up straight, narrowing her eyes at the seated teen, who jumped slightly in response.

"Y-yeah?" Timmy mentally cursed his own body for reacting in just the way it had been conditioned to by this unpleasant woma- _Girl_. Vicki still acted like the same sixteen year-old bratty teenager who used to babysit him, even if she _was_ technically a woman now.

An approving smirk soon made itself known on Vicki's face, her expression relaxing in turn. "Good Twerp. Y'still remember who's in charge." She raised her metal bottle to her lips, this being accompanied by a low 'Mm' sound. "Ah~, so why's my favorite victim-" She paused, seeming to mull over her choice of words before continuing. "-Doin' out here all by his lonesome? Tootie ask you and Blondie to have a three-way or sumthin'?"

"Three... Way?" Timmy asked in genuine confusion as his ex-babysitter's words settled in. Not because he didn't know what a three-way _was_ , but because it was simply so _odd_ for the older girl to say something like that about her sister. Tootie and Vicki(to his knowledge) got along fairly well, and it was doubtful she'd even joke about sex when it came to Tootie, so why say something like that? "Er... N-no, I just wanted some fresh air and... To get away from the party..." The brunet's words came out in a tone more questioning than he originally intended. "Vicki? Are you... Feeling okay?"

"Mm?" The girl looked at Timmy over her metal bottle again, her eyes half-lidded. After another quick sip, she lowered it, then took a single, striding step over to the teen, cutting the distance between them nearly in half. "Thas an odd thing to ask, since you're the one sittin' out here, freezing his balls off on Christmas night... Are _you_ feeling alright, Timmy?"

" _Timmy? Since when-"_ The brunet's mind took pause as a familiar and pleasant smell drifted into his nostrils, his babysitter's breath smelled of eggnog... And something else. Something decidedly _less_ pleasant, and more... He wasn't sure.

Vicki bent over and leaned forward with a slight wobble, putting her at eye level with the still seated Timmy. "'Ey, Earth to Twerp! Y'in there? Or..." She stood up straight again, bringing her left hand up to cup her cheek as her right moved across her belly to support her left arm. "Have you been struck speechless by this lovely night, and equally lovely woman before you?"

Timmy ignored the(definitely un-serious) flirtatious remark and opted to instead take stock of the information his brain was receiving. His ex-babysitter's unsteady gait, somewhat slurred speech, and missing boots, along with her apparent indifference to the cold and odd smell on her breath, led the brunet to the relatively obvious conclusion: "You're drunk." He narrowed his eyes at the girl warily. This being the first time the boy had ever seen the older girl with alcohol in her system, he was immediately put on edge. He at least knew what to expect with sober Vicki...

But drunk Vicki? _First time_ drunk Vicki? Vicki sans _inhibitions_?

On hearing this accusation, Vicki raised an eyebrow at the brunet and crossed her arms sternly... Only to fall into a sudden fit of giggles and spectacularly fail at looking even remotely intimidating. "I may be drunk, but _you_ -" She pointed her free hand's index finger at the boy seated a few feet in front of her, her lips curled upward into a giddy smile. "-Are a Twerp, and tomorrow? I'll be sober." The red-head finished by bringing her extended finger up to her right eye and tugging on the skin of her lower eyelid, then stuck her tongue out at him, blowing a raspberry as she finished.

Timmy, meanwhile; was doing his best to keep his own serious look in check. Vicki's strange antics, when compared with the version of her that he'd become so accustomed to, were almost adorably childish, so much more so than her normal childish behavior. Were he not so confused by the idea of _Vicki_ being adorable, he probably would've already burst out laughing at her, though this mental struggle in turn was enough to allow a slight grin to form on his lips, one that the drunk girl was quick to notice.

"Aha! I see that grin~!" Vicki giggled again, instantly taking another step forward and further closing the distance between herself and Timmy. "If _I_ can make you smile, y'can't say I'm all _that_ bad, can ya?" Again she leaned forward, her face little more than a foot away from Timmy's.

Rather than respond wittily, the teen did something _far_ more mature: He turned his head away from her and pouted, unwilling to admit that Vicki had a point; aside from the slightly odd smell of what he now knew was alcohol on her breath, she hadn't yet done anything particularly mean or unpleasant, though the key word here was _yet_.

After a few seconds of quiet, and no apparent movement from the inebriated red-head, Timmy glanced back over to his left, out of the corner of his eye, only to find that she simply hadn't moved, and was staring at him somewhat intently.

Finally, the brunet turned to face her again, opening his mouth to speak. "What are you doing out here anyway-" Timmy stopped, cutting off his own sentence and train of thought with silence; not due to his blue eyes meeting Vicki's strangely focused, pink ones, but because his left cheek suddenly felt cold. A quick once-over of the girl in front of him revealed two things to the teen: One, Vicki's cheeks had taken on an almost rosy blush, which Timmy assumed was caused by the alcohol in her system, and two, the tops of the fingers of her right hand now rested against his left cheek, her knuckles delicately grazing the skin.

There was a small noise in Vicki's throat, somewhere between a grunt and a slight giggle as she grinned at the teen. "I'ever tell you... You're really cute, Twerp?"

Timmy, anticipating an insult from the girl; immediately opened his mouth, a clever retort on the tip of his tongue, but was soon left gaping at his ex-babysitter in shock as his brain registered what she'd just said. He mentally backpedaled and closed his mouth, lips screwing up into what could best be described as a zigzag. After a few seconds of quick thought, Timmy again opened his mouth to speak, only to shut it once more, his mouth now forming a long, thin line across his face as he stared at the girl, wide-eyed.

Seeing that she'd evidently broken her Twerp, Vicki opted to speak instead. "You look like-"

"What?!" Timmy blurted out, having found his missing voice at last.

"...I was g'nna say a frog..." The girl pulled back and stood up straight, nearly losing her balance as she tipped onto her heels. "That face, I mean. Look like a frog."

"N-Not that... What- You..." Timmy stumbled over his words as his brain tried to convince itself that he wasn't going completely insane. "You called me cute!" He whispered out harshly, eyes narrowing at Vicki.

"Oh _that_." The red-head chuckled and brought her hand up to her face in a poor attempt to hide said chuckle, then ran it through her hair. "Hehe, well you are, so I'just thought I'd tell you." A mild shiver rant through her body as the porch was graced with another reminder that it was, in fact, still winter in Dimmsdale, making her instinctively wrap her arms around herself. "Mind if sit down here?"

Timmy looked at the older girl like she had three heads. _"First she calls me Timmy, then she says I'm_ cute _, and now she's_ asking _me if she can sit down?"_ His eyes drifted over to the identical chair next to the one he sat in. "I-I mean I guess not... But what about-"

"Tha~anks!" Vicki sang out as she did a quick pirouette, putting her back to Timmy, then fell backward, tumbling over the left arm of his chair as her rear-end landed in the teen's lap(producing a low 'Ack!' from him), the back of her neck landed on his right arm(thanks in no small part to his quick reflexes), and her legs remained draped over the left arm of the chair.

To his credit, rather than freak out due to the close proximity he and his ex-babysitter now shared, Timmy merely sighed, happy that the girl's full weight had missed a certain _sensitive_ part of his anatomy by roughly an inch, her rear-end instead landing partially on his ankles; since he still currently sat cross-legged, and partially on the chair, in the space between his feet and the previously mentioned sensitive area.

Transferring her metal bottle to her right hand, Vicki settled herself more comfortably into Timmy's lap, looping her left and now free arm around his shoulders to keep her balance. "Ah... Much better. A drunk girl like me shouldn't be on her feet for too long, could hurt myself if I tripped or sumthin'..."

" _Well this is kinda weird..."_ The brunet mused to himself as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, or as much as he could with the red-head planted in his lap, anyway. "Think you could warn me if you're gonna do something like that next time? I might want to have kids one day..." He watched as Vicki seemed to mull his request over, then raised her bottle to her lips and took a big sip, emptying the container of the last of its contents.

"Pah..." She sighed contentedly, letting her arm drop down to hang limply off the edge of the chair, her bottle of eggnog/alcohol slipping out of her fingers and rolling across the porch. "Y'know, y'never did answer my question, Twerrrp."

At literally _any_ other time, Timmy would have by now wriggled out of his chair, scooped up his blanket, and sprinted into his house and up to his room, at which point he'd slam his door, lock it, and pretend this whole strange interaction had never taken place.

...Yet for some reason, his nerves were beginning to calm down around this girl. Her slow, sluggish movements and mildly affectionate gestures(and calling him cute) made him feel... Not quite calm, but at ease, like his life was, for once, not in any immediate danger due to Vicki's presence.

So against his better judgment, Timmy did the one thing he'd unfailingly conditioned himself to never, _ever_ do when in the girl's presence. He let down his guard, and relaxed. His right hand(still covered by the blanket) slid up and rested itself against Vicki's right shoulder, while his left remained where it was on his knee, and under the girl's legs. Not quite touching them, but close enough that he could keep her from falling if she began to slip off his lap, and out of the chair that was clearly meant to accommodate only one person.

Something else that perplexed the teen was how... Almost small and delicate Vicki seemed. While it was true that she was six years his senior, the red-head no longer towered over her brunet-haired charge. The two were just about equal in height, with Vicki having around an inch on Timmy. Yet that inch obviously didn't matter if she was laying across his lap, staring at him with a look that said... Something. He still couldn't quite discern the girl's intentions, but he was beginning to have a certain suspicion...

Either way, Timmy found that the horrible, oppressive babysitter who practically raised him and made his life Hell from day one... Just didn't seem that bad at the moment. Maybe it was because she'd caught him completely off guard with her current attitude and compliments, maybe he was feeling a little nostalgic about that fateful day when he first met her, and wanted to be her friend, or maybe he was just so desperate for some affection from someone- _anyone_ -that he didn't really mind that the person giving the affection was Vicki...

"Hm-hmm..." The red-head smirked, humming out a giggle as she pulled herself a little closer to Timmy, visibly shaking him from his wandering thoughts. "Hope my little Twerp hasn't become the brooding type...?"

"Brooding?" Timmy parroted in a confused tone. Had he missed an entire conversation's worth of dialogue somewhere? "Why do you say that?" He threw caution to the wind in favor of intrigue now, genuinely wondering just where on Earth this girl was going with the conversation.

"Why else would you be out here? There's a party going on inside, all your friends are here, family too, and you're out here, freezing your butt off... In your pajamas..." As she spoke, Vicki rubbed Timmy's shoulder, emphasizing how thin his t-shirt was. "So either my Twerp is feeling all scrooge-y on Christmas, or...?"

"Or...? What?" Timmy asked impatiently. At the rate they were going, Vicki was going to keep the two of them out on the porch all night!

"I'unno." The red-head shrugged and shut her eyes, letting the back of her head lazily drop down onto Timmy's arm. "Why not tell me?"

"Only if you tell me why you came out here looking for me." The brunet took a moment to think over his request, and was quick to speak up again as he saw his ex-babysitter's mouth open to speak. " _And_ why you think I'm cute."

She peeked her left eye open. "That-"

" _And_ why you're-" He stopped again, wondering if he could really take this as far as he wanted to. "Why you're being... Nice to me..." Timmy finished with a mumble, part of him hoping the girl in his lap hadn't heard him.

"Deal." Vicki nodded her head, instantly agreeing to Timmy's terms. "But! Only if you-" She brought her right hand back into view, giving the teen a quick tap on the lips with her index finger. "Go first."

"For a second, I almost forgot who I was talking to..." The brunet remarked in a flat, deadpanning tone.

"Hey!" The red-head sat up, using the arm still hooked around the boy's shoulders as leverage to lean uncomfortably close(for Timmy) to his face. " _I'm_ gracing _you_ with my presence. You forget who is, and always will be, in charge?"

Timmy stared into Vicki's eyes, which were half-lidded and looked a little tired; wondering if she was actually being serious this time, or if this intimidation tactic would fail like the last one did. "N-no..."

"Good, because I'm _way_ too drunk to kick your ass right now anyway." She fell into another giggle fit as she let her head drop back down onto Timmy's arm. "And... I'd hate to have to mess up my Twerp's cute face!"

" _Okay, so she's still threatening me, but..."_ Timmy subtly tugged on Vicki's shoulder, pulling the girl closer to him as he felt her begin to slip off his lap due to her giggling. Obviously, he wasn't some naïve ten year old kid anymore. He had several years of experience as a teenager under his belt now, and though he still had a habit of acting impulsively, he wasn't stupid. Vicki's compliments and little gentle caresses were starting to seem _a lot_ like flirting.

And the brunet found he honestly wasn't sure how to feel about that realization, as this was _Vicki_ , bane of his existence for the better half of _said_ existence. Sure, she'd calmed down some since she no longer babysat him, but most of the time, she was still the same, unpleasant red-headed witch he'd grown up with. A night of Christmas cheer and an eggnog plus who-knows-what-else cocktail wasn't about to change that.

"Startin' to get bored here!" Vicki yelled obnoxiously, eyes still closed as she used the brunet's arm as a pillow. "...And a little cold..." Upon finishing, she tapped her right index finger on Timmy's shoulder, as if giving him a cue that only she had agreed to.

Knowing any chance of escape from his current situation was well beyond his reach, Timmy sighed, reserving himself to his fate as he leaned forward while snaking his left arm out from under his comforter. The teen reached over the girl in his lap and grasped his target: the excess comforter that hung off the front of the chair. He then reclined back, pulling it with him and covering Vicki's body, from her knees up to her neck.

"Aw... Isn't you sweet?" The red-head spoke up in a childish tone, laying her right arm across her stomach as she shifted about-almost _wiggling_ -in an attempt to warm up the blanket. "Mmm... Now c'mon, we had a deal."

Timmy released a huff from his nose, remembering his part of their little 'bargain'. "It... It's not like it's really that interesting..."

"Well _I'm_ interested." Again, Vicki peeked an eye open at the teen, a knowing(if lopsided) grin on her face. "So tell me."

Timmy groaned and rolled his eyes, feeling somewhat annoyed that he needed to explain his actions to Vicki. "It's all the holiday cheer. All the songs, the smell of the tree, family coming to visit, mom and dad throwing these parties... I don't even know half of these people! And I can't go up to my room, because that's the first place they'll look for me, and with the walls being too thin, I can still hear all that holiday music, and don't even get me started on my parents singing karaoke..." His voice trailed off as he finished and reclined his head back, beginning to feel a little tired himself.

"Oh-Kay... I think I see the problem here..." The red-head slowly nodded her head up and down, a look of understanding on her face.

"Nice to know someone does-"

"You really _are_ a scrooge on Christmas!" Vicki broke the silence of the porch as she laughed loudly at her own joke, though said laughter was _slightly_ less grating than her usual evil cackling.

"I- I am not!" Timmy exclaimed petulantly, making his voice crack, which only served to make Vicki laugh even harder.

"Sure- Aha! You sure sound like one! Heehee!" The older girl paused to catch her breath, her laughter quickly dying down. "Ah... Eheh... Poor Timmy, all this holiday cheer must be _so_ tough on you..."

"Ugh." Timmy groaned at the red-head's condescending tone. " _Anyway_ , we had a deal, Vicki." He reminded her while bearing a childish pout on his face. " _Why_ did you come out here looking for me?"

"Easy. Your other half asked me to..." Vicki shook her head back and forth, her face instantly shifting from amused to something more solemn. "Ah... She's so goddamned in love with you..." She trailed off, her eyes drifting toward the window just to the left of the chair she and Timmy sat in, her view of the inside obstructed by the Turners' think curtains. "Even if she _is_ dating Blondie- _Chester_." She corrected herself. "Don't need Toots getting on my case about his name... _Again_."

"I dunno about in _love_..." The brunet glanced to his left, away from Vicki, and sounding like he was trying to convince himself just as much as he was the girl in his lap. "No offense, but friends _do_ care about each other without... Without having to like each other that way."

"And just _why_ do you say 'no offense', huh Turner?" Despite her inebriated state, Vicki still managed to appear threatening, her eyes flashing dangerously at Timmy, and what he was implying.

"Because that's what you say right before you offend someone." He offered with a nonchalant shrug, feeling relatively confident that his and Vicki's current positions would prevent her from hurting him _too_ badly if he said the wrong thing.

And said feeling did not go unnoticed by the red-head, who quickly narrowed her eyes at the teen. "Don't think for a second that I'm helpless just because I'm drunk and you're cradling me in your arms. I could..." Vicki took pause, unable to(for possibly the first time ever!) think up any sort of unpleasant threat.

"I'm listening...?" Timmy couldn't hide the growing smirk on his face. While she certainly wasn't the company he'd expected, he was actually beginning to enjoy Vicki's presence. When she wasn't trying so hard to be an abrasive, mildly sociopathic, bratty teenager in a woman's body, Vicki could be... Almost _pleasant_.

"Ah-ah!" Once again, she reached her left hand up, giving him a light tap on his lips with her index finger. " _That_. Wasn't part of the deal."

The brunet glanced down at her finger; still on his lips, then back up to her face, raising a quizzical eyebrow as he did. From what he could tell, she was still very clearly drunk, and spoke with a slight slur, but she'd stopped trying to chain every couple words into one, so that was- _"Good? Maybe...?"_

"So where was I...? Oh right! Why I said you're cute!" Vicki pulled her left arm back under the blanket, feeling the chill of winter creeping back onto it. "For one, me saying that makes you blush."

As if on cue, Timmy felt warmth in his cheeks. A warmth he hadn't even noticed until the girl pointed it out. "Well that's cause- I-It's embarrassing! Most people blush when you tell them they're cute or handsome or- Or whatever!"

"Aw... Someone gettin' a little flustered?" Vicki chuckled as Timmy's cheeks reddened further.

" _Drunk, and she can still turn the tables on me."_ The brunet thought with a frown.

"But! Just because it makes you blush-which, by the way, is even _more_ adorable-that doesn't mean it isn't true. If I'd been in Tootie's shoes? You can bet your ass I'd still be chasing after you... And if we were dating...?" An evil-yet-lopsided grin wormed its way across Vicki's face. "I would Rock. Your. World."

While the teen had to wonder if this was just the alcohol talking, or if the alcohol had simply erased enough of the red-head's inhibitions to allow her to speak more freely, Timmy couldn't hide the bright red color now adorning his _whole face_. "W-we're still t-talking-" He gulped, uncertainty gripping him like a vise and making him stammer out nearly every word. "H-hypothetically, right?"

"Depends." She shrugged, blinking her eyes closed for a full second before reopening them, though the sly grin remained.

"On...?" Timmy asked hesitantly, suddenly feeling a great deal warmer than someone who was outside in winter, wearing only their pajamas; should have.

The red-head's grin broke out into a full-blown smile on hearing Timmy's nervous question. She had him right where she wanted him, and was visibly loving every second of it. "On what's above your head, Twerp." The girl pointed her left index finger upward, forming a small tent under the blanket.

Timmy's gaze cautiously drifted upward, following the direction his ex-babysitter's finger was pointing, and eventually settled on a small, plastic decoration hanging from one of the hooks his mother normally hung a flower pot on when it was warmer out. The sight of the decoration; a tight bundle of dark green leaves with three red, plastic berries attached, was enough to make a strange chill run up and down the brunet's spine.

"You _do_ know what you're supposed to do under a mistletoe, dontcha Timmy?"

"Y-Yeah...?" Timmy squeaked out as his blue-eyed gaze fell back down to meet Vicki's, her pink eyes lustfully staring into his. The look she was giving him was almost mesmerizing, it felt hard to even _try_ to look away. "B-but m- _me_? I've n-never even k-kissed-" His sentence was cut short as he felt Vicki's left palm press against his navel, then slowly slide up his stomach, and over his chest.

"Then _now's_ as good a time as any to try it out, ain't it?"The red-head, still grinning evilly, pulled herself up and closer to Timmy, using the arm looped around his shoulders as leverage while she settled her left hand comfortably on his shoulder. "Now c'mon, pucker up!"

"V-Vicki... This isn't f-funny..." The teen shrugged his shoulders in discomfort. It wasn't that he had any sort of problem getting a kiss from a girl, nor did the smell of alcohol and eggnog on her breath really bother him all that much... But the fact that said girl was _Vicki_ , most certainly did. Granted, she'd never gone to _this_ extent with her teasing, but she _was_ drunk _,_ and as mentioned before, was seemingly without any of the few inhibitions she actually did have.

"Y'see me laughing, Timmy?" The smirk disappeared from her face, leaving a serious, but still clearly wanting, expression.

"N-No, but-"

"Then come _on_ and _kiss_ me..." The red-head very nearly whined out as she leaned in close, but sank a little lower to press her lips to the teen's neck, rather than meet his.

The contact made Timmy shiver, his skin quickly bristling with goosebumps. "Agh... W-What are you-!" Timmy inhaled sharply as he felt Vicki lightly nip his neck with her teeth. "W-we shouldn't- Nnh! _Should_ -! Stop!"

"If that's the case..." The girl ceased her affectionate nipping to speak, but stayed where she was, her breath hot on the brunet's sensitive flesh. "Then why are you holding on so tight...?"

On hearing her amused tone, Timmy looked down at the girl, only to find his right hand still clutching the girl's shoulder, and that his left arm had at some point coiled itself around her waist. He mentally cursed at himself after a moment, realizing that maybe he really _was_ desperate for affection.

"Now, about that kiss...?" Vicki sat up slightly so her head was level with Timmy's. " Y'know, I've heard when someone denies someone _else_ a kiss under the mistletoe, that person is _guaranteed_ to have bad luck in their future..."

" _Since when do you believe in magic?"_ Timmy thought as he narrowed his eyes at the girl, quickly realizing she was still closing in, then felt her forehead bump into his with a light collision. For some sudden, inexplicable reason, he felt a surge of boldness run through his mind. If her strange cocktail of eggnog and... Something... Made her act friendlier to him, was it possible that it was letting certain feelings she had for him out as well? It would almost surely hurt to ask, but at the same time... "So..." The brunet trailed off, the more logical part of his mind making him wonder if he should really ask her his next question. "You... You must li- like me, right?"

For less than a second, the teen noticed the older girl's confident attitude falter, her eyes widening ever so slightly. It was quick to disappear, however; as the confident smirk returned, Vicki now raising an eyebrow at Timmy, clearly impressed by his deductive skills, even if she had made it somewhat obvious. "Not bad, Twerp... But you talk too much." Vicki leaned in; not wanting to give the boy a chance to question her any further, and delicately pressed her lips to his. She briefly smirked against his lips as she felt Timmy tense up from the gesture, but did her best to hide it as his arms tightened around her back and shoulders.

Timmy; being without any real experience regarding his current situation, merely did his best to emulate what he'd seen in movies, and read about in books. He tightened his grip on the girl just enough to keep her from falling off his lap(or ending the kiss prematurely, not that she wanted to). He knew enough to close his eyes, but other than that, all he really did was make an attempt to kiss the girl(who clearly had more experience kissing) back.

Sooner than he would've liked, Vicki pulled away, briefly brushing her tongue across his lips as she did. The red-head panted slightly and took a moment to catch her breath before speaking. "So~" She watched as Timmy caught his own breath, then licked his lips, his blue eyes staring at her in a way that was not unlike the look she'd been giving him a few minutes before. "That look you're giving me says you liked it, huh?"

Timmy slowly nodded, his mind more focused on the combination of tastes the girl had left on his lips. There was, of course, the sweet taste of eggnog, another one he could best describe as spicy, though not hot like a pepper, and... Something else. A taste that formed an image in his mind, one of Vicki herself. It was completely indescribable, save for that mental picture, but he knew he liked it, and he knew he wanted _more_.

"Didn't break you, did I?" Vicki smiled at Timmy, feeling the haziness in her mind caused by the alcohol beginning to fade.

"N-No, that was- I liked that. Kissing you, I mean." The brunet spoke rather simply, his eyes staring into Vicki's, focused on nothing but her. "How did- Did I do... Okay?"

"Oh boy... One kiss from his evil babysitter, and the Twerp's fallen in love..." Vicki teased, but felt her own cheeks starting to heat up, and this time, it wasn't from the alcohol... Or she didn't think so, anyway. She released a content sigh. "For your first time kissing a girl? You did alright." Vicki shrugged her shoulders, making the blanket she and Timmy shared slip off of her. "Sure got my motor running..." As soon as the words left her mouth, Vicki wished she could've taken them back, and facepalmed as a result. "Okay. Time for me to go home. Clearly my filter for saying stupid shit is still off from the booze..." The red-head pulled away and attempted to slide off the teen's lap, only to be met with resistance, his arms still coiled around her body protectively. "C'mon, it's cold out here and I need to go home... I'm gonna be so hungover tomorrow..."

Timmy grinned at this new side of his ex-babysitter, a Vicki that grumbles, whines in a cute way, and apparently gets turned on by 'her Twerp'. "I don't think I can let you do that. If you tried to drive home and got in an accident because you'd been drinking, I'd _never_ forgive myself..."

"Really Timmy?" Vicki offered the teen a flat, serious look. One that showed she wasn't amused by his little joke. "I live like, two blocks away! How would I get in a car accident from driving a little over five hundred feet?!"

"No idea." Timmy shrugged nonchalantly, the corners of his lips turning up into a smile he was desperately trying to hide. "But it's a chance I'm not willing to let you take. Nope, looks like you're stuck here for the night, Vicki."

"Or I could just _walk_ home. No chance of me getting into a car accident _then_." _"What is with this kid? One kiss and suddenly he cares about my well-being,_ and _wants me to stay the night?!"_ Vicki struggled half-heartedly against Timmy's grip, frowning as she quickly gave in and relaxed. "Ugh! You're... Such a Twerp! Where am I supposed to sleep, huh? The living room couch has seen more ass today than either of us will in our lifetimes! And it's not like you've got a spare guest room I can sleep in!"

"Hm. That's a good point, wouldn't want you sleeping on the couch after it's 'seen all that ass'. Hum... Where would- Oh!" Timmy snapped his fingers, pretending an idea suddenly came to mind. " _My_ room has a bed, and it just so happens to be big enough for _two_ people to comfortably share! That sure is lucky, huh Vicki?"

"Come again?" The girl looked at her charge; who had been practically shaking with nervousness just a few minutes ago over a _kiss_ , incredulously, not quite believing she'd heard him right. "You're really _that_ confident that after one little kiss, I'm just gonna sleep with you?"

Expecting her answer, Timmy leaned in, surprising her by rubbing his nose against hers. "Are _you_ so confident you won't?"

For the second time that night, the red-head found herself at a loss for words. Yes, she could admit Timmy was cute, and there _were_ several qualities that she liked about him, but where was this burst of confidence coming from? Why was he taking to her liking him so easily? _"Why does that look make me so...?"_ She felt her cheeks heat up again, her skin bristled excitedly, forming goosebumps on her exposed skin. "Dammit... Why are you so good at turning me on...?" Her eyes widened in shock as she again let her unfiltered thoughts slip out.

"Dunno, bu-u-t..." The brunet drawled out as his left hand slipped down Vicki's back, eventually finding its way under the blanket they shared and onto her lower back, which was exposed due to her green, midriff-bearing shirt. The contact of his cold fingers brushing against her skin made the red-head squeak in surprise, and she bounced slightly in his lap. "I know _I'm_ not complaining..."

"Grr..." Vicki growled, her pink eyes showing off that familiar, dangerous flash as she glared at Timmy. "Just remember one thing."

"Mm...?" The brunet hummed with a smile, completely unaffected by the girl's attempt to be threatening. He was just having too much fun! _"Might have quite a bit more soon...!"_

"I get to be on top."


End file.
